At Peace With It All

Over the years I've experienced so many beautiful moments in my life and so many chaotic less desirable ones. However, that's the balance right? Were those moments just as beautiful but simply experiences on the other side of the spectrum? When I look back and step outside of myself to have a bird's eye view I realize these experiences were meant to be had. There isn't one person to blame (unless they cursed our entire lineage) because it was a long succession of our ancestors' choices, and emotions that lead us to be here to have this very moment in time. Now I can say I have gratitude for it all but that wasn't always my opinion. Before I understood my purpose and accepted the role I played in my life and how to take responsibility as the director, I couldn't understand why It was possible for me to experience these sort of situations in my life. I felt I was a good person; I helped others and that was the basis as to what kind of life I'd experience, specifically what my experiences would be with my family, friends and relationships. I couldn't have been further from my correct understanding. Morality had nothing to do with it. There are billionaires,people with immense power and influence who aren’t the greatest morality wise and have “great lives” well monetarily anyway. 

The belief that solely being good, balanced or wholesome prevents you from experiencing effects from unwise decisions whether they’re yours or someone around you isn’t the case. It’s very similar to the law wherein your association with parties who committed a crime has landed some in very precarious situations. So it leads me to wonder: can our parents, grandparents or ancestors of our bloodline affect our experience here on earth to a certain extent? I mean they are us and we are them. Perhaps this is why great ancient cultures lived very traditional lives because it had been proven this was the correct way to live and have a higher probability of success in all aspects of our life. I’ve also come to realize there’s no competition in suffering or trauma. You don’t receive a ribbon for having a harder struggle than the next soul. Making it to the top of your mountain after experiencing those struggles is what gets you “the ribbon.” In fact it’s greater than a ribbon. You will receive your peace. You will stop asking why this or that happened and start living. No one can free you, you must free yourself and heal. So have that ugly cry, shed the tears from when you were your child self. Scream, yell to the heavens. Use it as your empowerment to release the pain and replace it with breath, oxygen, joy and then repeat. Speak to yourself kindly. Tell yourself, “ I love you, you are enough, you are beautiful.” You will be at peace.